Puddles
Gideon told me a story about a horse with scars on his legs who wouldn't go into puddles or standing water no matter what.
It turns out the poor horse had been stranded in standing water with no place to go (must have been fenced in) and the water froze around his legs.
Now, when he sees a puddle that reflects light, he's afraid to walk in it.
No wonder! Poor horse! The painful memory is just too much, and he can't tell that the puddle in front of him now won't hurt him.
Sounds like what people face when they have been traumatized, especially when they were children, especially if they were traumatized over and over, day in and day out, over a period of years.
If they see their puddle in front of them, it triggers powerful memories. Sometimes, it might not be trouble, but sometimes it is. And if an adult who was traumatized as a child sees a situation as an adult that is a similar trouble, good luck convincing them they are safe!
I wish I could somehow force people to be safe for me by not presenting situations or verbiage that are triggers for me, but I suppose that's not reasonable. I do think, though, that normal respect and politeness is a good way to help people get along safely!
I heard a nice exhortation: "Be kinder than necessary!"
I rather like that!
Be kind to yourself, too!
Best,
- Auriel
It turns out the poor horse had been stranded in standing water with no place to go (must have been fenced in) and the water froze around his legs.
Now, when he sees a puddle that reflects light, he's afraid to walk in it.
No wonder! Poor horse! The painful memory is just too much, and he can't tell that the puddle in front of him now won't hurt him.
Sounds like what people face when they have been traumatized, especially when they were children, especially if they were traumatized over and over, day in and day out, over a period of years.
If they see their puddle in front of them, it triggers powerful memories. Sometimes, it might not be trouble, but sometimes it is. And if an adult who was traumatized as a child sees a situation as an adult that is a similar trouble, good luck convincing them they are safe!
I wish I could somehow force people to be safe for me by not presenting situations or verbiage that are triggers for me, but I suppose that's not reasonable. I do think, though, that normal respect and politeness is a good way to help people get along safely!
I heard a nice exhortation: "Be kinder than necessary!"
I rather like that!
Be kind to yourself, too!
Best,
- Auriel
posted by Auriel Ragmon | 7:12 PM
2 Comments:
Now that makes me think I should ride with a group of donkeys/mules that have learned about puddles so my fellas can learn. They stop dead and won't budge when they see a puddle!
They know the wisdom of following successful models!
-Auriel
The lady who wrote the essay "Why I Own Donkeys" in "Slate" just published another story about her donkeys. It's an amazing coincidence that it's about donkeys having trouble with icy conditions. Check it out at The Donkey Who Couldn't Stand Up .
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