Before the Fall
Once upon a time, there was a 50 year old lady who wanted to ride a donkey bareback. So she tried it out on her very large mammoth donkey in the little dog yard. This worked out so well, she wanted to show off.
Later, a friend from church told her that Red Green said there were two words people our age should never say: "Watch this!"
However, the lady hadn't even thought about that. She just wanted Beloved Spouse to see how clever she was. So she got on the donkey (whose name is Abie) bareback in her socks. (The slip-on boots seemed a little heavy, so she took them off.)
Once aboard, her beloved snapped a photo, and here it is:
After her beloved was done with the photo, the lady said: "Dear, why don't you help me on with my boots?" She was thinking it would be nice to have the boots on when she dismounted.
The boot on the left went on, no problem.
The boot on the right was more of a struggle. Abie noticed something was going on, and decided to take three big slow steps forward.
Now, if someone is pushing a boot on your foot and the donkey is moving, you have no way to not fall over, and there is absolutely nothing to catch your fall.
Ahem. Very undignified.
Beloved spouse later said: "Dear, I badly wanted to take a picture of you on the ground, kind of a before-and-after, but I thought you'd be mad. Would you pose for me?"
No!
So, dear reader, no picture of crumpled me on the ground. The proud do fall. But then, they who fall off their ass get up off their ass so they can get up on their ass again! (You will please note that "ass" is the actual proper name for a donkey. I can't help it if the term has been otherwise misused!)
My advice to you: Use a saddle, and keep your boots on!
-Auriel
Later, a friend from church told her that Red Green said there were two words people our age should never say: "Watch this!"
However, the lady hadn't even thought about that. She just wanted Beloved Spouse to see how clever she was. So she got on the donkey (whose name is Abie) bareback in her socks. (The slip-on boots seemed a little heavy, so she took them off.)
Once aboard, her beloved snapped a photo, and here it is:
After her beloved was done with the photo, the lady said: "Dear, why don't you help me on with my boots?" She was thinking it would be nice to have the boots on when she dismounted.
The boot on the left went on, no problem.
The boot on the right was more of a struggle. Abie noticed something was going on, and decided to take three big slow steps forward.
Now, if someone is pushing a boot on your foot and the donkey is moving, you have no way to not fall over, and there is absolutely nothing to catch your fall.
Ahem. Very undignified.
Beloved spouse later said: "Dear, I badly wanted to take a picture of you on the ground, kind of a before-and-after, but I thought you'd be mad. Would you pose for me?"
No!
So, dear reader, no picture of crumpled me on the ground. The proud do fall. But then, they who fall off their ass get up off their ass so they can get up on their ass again! (You will please note that "ass" is the actual proper name for a donkey. I can't help it if the term has been otherwise misused!)
My advice to you: Use a saddle, and keep your boots on!
-Auriel
posted by Auriel Ragmon | 7:13 PM
2 Comments:
Nice picture. It occurs to me that if you fall off of the back of a donkey, that would put you back by the donkey's hind legs, which is not a safe place to be.
--Scott
In my case, I rotated around his middle and fell to the side. The ground is very hard! Nothing broke, just a little achy.
Actually, we are fortunate with the fellas, as they don't seem to want to kick us.
Short ride today, happy 18th anniversary for us!
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