Reality?

Reality isn't what it ought to be!

Vera Vague, 1/1/2010

Are We There Yet?

Is there a there there?

Ok, say it again slowly...

Actually, I've been working really, really hard on good behaviour (instead of normal human behaviour) and it is starting to really pay off. The reason I'm wondering if there is a there there is that when you work so very hard to get to a decent place, and you think you might be getting there, then you have to figure out what the "there" is you were looking for in the first place!

I thought I was looking for not being the odd man out, not being in trouble, not being disrespected and not looked down upon, not, not, not, not.

But not is not any kind of there.

So now that I'm making progress in the "not" department, I want to make progress in the "there" department. I suppose that has to do with creativity and usefulness, that's what I think! Maybe I will have thinking space for that! Yaaaaaay!

You all have a wonderful Christmas!

Auriel

Oris P. Donkey is Not Pink!

But he is adorable. He lives in Penrose, Colorado and told me he wants to live with me in Washington. Here is a picture:

Idealization

I think we all must be carrying the ideal picture of what is good and proper in our head. It's interesting to read about the mental shortcuts we need for our thinking patterns just to survive. First impressions are powerful.

When the person in front of us doesn't match our ideal, it creates a judgement, and then we base our actions on that judgement.

It's interesting that once we make up our minds, we judge incoming evidence in accordance to our belief about that person. If we thought they were incompetant, than if they make a mistake, that observation is maximized. If they do something well, that observation is minimized. We do this to preserve our mental image and a little bit to help our ego. We don't like to admit we may have been mistaken about a person.

The conflicting stories are called cognative dissonances. We can do one or more things about a cognative dissonance. We can ignore that we even are experiencing it and keep acting on the "story" we have constructed based on our initial observations.

We can acknowledge that there is a cognative dissonance and ignore it or accept it and change nothing.

We can insist that our initial call was correct and suppress the evidence of the other side of the story.

We can test the probabilities.

But my favorite shortcut through all of this is this advice I heard: Assume the best of everyone.

This idea is felicitous because if you make a mistake, and assume more than was really true, it is still likely to have a good result.

Cheryl and Ann were talking on the phone. In the middle of the conversation, Ann hung up. Cheryl assumed Ann had been called away and she didn't ascribe any motive or bad feeling to Ann's action. The next day, Cheryl called Ann and asked how the other was doing in the friendliest and normalest of tones. Ann was expecting a harsh tone and was grateful to hear her friend's patient and friendly voice. She had hung up because she was angry, but now she just wanted to forget about it and not even talk about it.

These two could've launched a protracted argument, given each other the silent treatment, or even stopped being friends. They decided to give the person who needed it some space and time and to not make a big deal out of the event. Good job!

Everyone needs encouragement, do the best you can.

Just thinking,

Auriel

Daylight Savings Time, Aaaargh!

I badly want to start a petition to put the elimination of Daylight Savings Time on the November Ballot. The change of our routine by an hour is disruptive and unnecessary, and my physiology wants lunch at the same time every day!

Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Hope you are having a splendid day,

Auriel

PS The Dogs Came Home!

I forgot to add that our two little pirates spent a night at the pound in those cold cages with the concrete floors, and were VERY HAPPY to return home!

No running away adventures for them, if I can help it! Buster! Lady!

Best,

Auriel

Goldilocks and the Three Bears - A Fracturable Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there lived a 43-year old woman named Goldilocks. Her hair was obviously dyed blonde. She was so depressed, she neglected her hair, and the gray roots were beginning to show.

A Caring Professional advised her to go to a self-help group for recovering dysfunctional people. The group leader said, "Does anyone have a burning desire to share?"

A big beer-bellied bear raised his big fat furry paw. Everyone leaned toward the bear to listen attentively to his story. This is the story of the Three Bears.

Once upon a time, when Baby Bear was five years old, Mama Bear and Papa Bear got into a big ugly fight. They said Baby Bear wasn't cooperating, and that Baby Bear was gloomy and depressed.

Papa Bear yelled at Mama Bear: "It's your fault for treating him like a sissy! How come you're still callin' him "Baby Bear," what a sissy name. For Pete's sake, the kid is five years old!

Mama Bear yelled back at Papa Bear, "Oh yeah? Maybe you could stop beating him! Papa Bear yelled, "That's not beating, that's discipline!" And he roared a big scary roar: "Roooooaaaaaarrrrr!"

Mama Bear started to cry, "If you didn't drink so much..."

Papa Bear roared again. "Roooaaarrr! What the ... are you trying to say? Are you saying I drink too much? After all I do to this family, waddya mean I drink too much?" His breath smelled like beer.

Baby Bear ran out into the woods crying. Mama Bear yelled at Baby Bear, "Hey, Baby Bear, come back! Mama Bear loves you!" And she ran into the woods after him.

Papa Bear went staggering into the woods too. Baby Bear got tired and went to sleep under a bush, and Mama Bear and Papa Bear spent all day looking for him. When they found him, Papa Bear roared "Rooaaarrr! Boy, when I get you back home, I'm going to skin you alive!"

Mama Bear said, "Over my dead body," and Papa Bear gave Mama Bear a mean scary look.

When they got home, the kitchen door was wide open.

Papa Bear gave Baby Bear a mean scary look and said, "Baby Bear, did you leave that door wide open?" Then he went over to the kitchen table and looked at his Papa Bear-sized bowl. And he roared, "Roooaaaaarrrr! Somebody's been eating my porridge! Baby Bear! Where are you?!"

Baby Bear hid under the table.

Mama Bear yelled, "Someone's been eating my porridge! Baby Bear, where are you?!"

Papa Bear scooped up the pot full of porridge, and went stomping into the living room to watch the Dallas Cowboys play the Green Bay Packers.

Mama Bear went too. Baby Bear took his little baby bear bowl into the living room: "Mama Bear! Papa Bear! Someone's been eating my porridge!"

"Hush Baby Bear," said Mama Bear, "I'm watching the commercial." Papa Bear just growled,"Growl."

Baby Bear hid behind the couch.

Papa Bear tried lying on the couch. "Oof! Someone's been sitting on my couch! Baby Bear! Where are you?!"

Mama bear tried sitting in the recliner, but it was stuck. "Someone's been playing with my recliner. Baby Bear! Where are you?!"

Baby Bear saw his Baby Bear chair broken to pieces in the corner, but he was too afraid to say anything.

The football game ended. Papa Bear yawned, and Mama Bear yawned. They decided to go up to bed. So up the stairs they went. Papa Bear stretched out on his bed, but it was messy and uncomfortable.

Baby Bear hid in the closet.

Papa Bear roared, "Roooooaaaaarrrr!" Someone's been sleeping in my bed! Baby Bear, where are you?!"

Mama Bear layed down on her bed. It was rumpled. "Oh! Someone's been sleeping in my bed! Baby Bear! Where are you!

Baby Bear was as quiet as a mouse. But Papa Bear found Baby Bear anyway and took Baby Bear by the scruff of his neck and the seat of his pants and threw Baby Bear into his own bed. And there in Baby Bear's very own bed was a girl! And she was fast asleep.

Papa Bear turned to Mama Bear and said, "See, I told you he was up to no good!"

Baby Bear kicked Papa Bear in the tummy really hard, and Papa Bear groaned, "Groooaaan!" And the girl woke up and ran away, as fast as her little legs could carry her.

And Baby Bear, who was now a Great Big Bear, said to the group:

"Boy I paid for that one. All of my life, ever since then, I have blamed all of my troubles on that poor unfortunate girl. Now though, through the grace of my higher power, I have come to understand that none of my troubles had anything to do with her."

By this time, Goldilocks was holding her hands to her face and weeping uncontrollably.

Baby Bear went on: "I have oftened wondered what happened to her. The real truth is, Papa Bear drank, and his Papa Bear drank, and drinking ruins a lot of people. If I ever found that girl, I would give her a Great Big Bear hug."

The bear looked at the uncontrollably weeping 43-year old woman, and suddenly a flash of recognition caused him to say, "And there she is!"

So he gave her a Great Big Bear hug, and they were friends forever after.

The End.

I Don't Need to be a Helicopter Pilot!

I did really have a chance to be a helicopter pilot once, really truly! I had just completed Basic Training in the Army, and I was interviewed and asked if I would be interested in Warrant Officer Training to become a helicopter pilot!

A few things kept me from jumping at the glorious opportunity to fly. 1) I had just finished Basic Training and was in No Mood Whatsoever to do more of it! 2) I heard that for eight weeks the training was very strict - Things like hanging your clothes hangers 1/4 inch apart. Everywhere you go is in formation - if there are three cadets, one is shouting the cadence, one is carrying a flag and the other is marching! 3) My Drill Sargeant thought it would become old and routine after awhile, more like being a glorified bus driver.

So I am stuck with wondering what if I HAD become a helicopter pilot? It might've been just the thing for me! To this day, I daydream about it, but I am happy with what I have. I woke up the other morning realizing that at this point in my life, I don't need to keep all the doors I could think about open. On the other hand, maybe I'll buy a remote controlled model helicopter!

I feel like I'm a Babar book - a book about adventures. My adventures now are learning the fiddle, riding donkeys and (ahem) writing. Helicopter piloting is waiting in the pile of Famous Author dreams (they have lessons at the airport!!!).

I can't help it, just the way I am. I get very excited about things and I want to see and try it all. I'd love to try snowboarding!! Sleighing!!! Backcountry camping!! Kayaking!!

Right now, the donkeys deserve time and attention, not to mention my employment, and I respect my fiddle teacher's time, so I practice a lot. That's enough for me(for now!).

Now you, go do something you've always wanted to try! Go! Now!

We'll have a good time before the clock stops ticking!

Auriel