Burial of Father Deacon Joseph Kerns

Dear ones,

We gathered in church today to celebrate Divine Liturgy for Saint Andrew and for our dear Deacon Joseph, whose body lay in the middle of the church. Deacon Joseph made the coffin some time ago for himself as a preparation.

The church was packed with clergy, family and friends. The choir sang the beautiful hymns and we said our last good-byes.

We went over to the hall where we consoled each other and the family. There was a slide show of photos of the Deacon. Photos of babies, children, his wife Elizabeth, and himself. Obvious joy from being with his family radiated from the photos.

We went back to the church and the lid of the coffin was nailed on solemnly. There is nothing that sounds more final.

The burial was at the Wilkeson cemetery. As soon as Holy Resurrection obtains permits for a church cemetery, Deacon Joseph's body will be transferred there, where he wanted to be buried.

We are all unspeakably affected. Every one of us wanted the power to raise the Deacon from the dead, and every one of us could not. We put our hope in Him Who was raised from the dead, Who is the Resurrection and the Life. Amen.

Hugs to you who knew Deacon Joseph, and hugs to you who did not. Somehow, we all need each other, whether we know it or not. I am glad to have you as a brother or sister on this earth, whomever you are.

- Auriel

Deacon Joseph Kerns, Memory Eternal

Dear Deacon Joseph,

We miss you, we love you, we can't believe you were struck down, we are in shock. We grieve for you, for ourselves, for your family, and especially for your beloved wife.

We feel your presence, your strength, your generosity. We regret not having spent more time with you in this busy life that can be abruptly ended without warning of any kind.

An accident.

A one-in-a-million chance. "And it happened to us," says your young friend who was with you.

A life richly lived in the great dance with other people, sharing and serving, a kind presence, help for the weak, help for the community, help for the church.

Now we must help each other and make sure that your spirit of helping and generosity is echoed.

You were always kind. I never heard a harsh word from you. Thank you for sharing your wonderful self with us, we deeply miss you.

God is with us.

Auriel

The Importance of Being Important

Many conversations over the last decade or so have revolved around whether or not "self-esteem" is a good thing or not.

I have seen essays and articles either supporting or denigrating the concept of trying to raise self-esteem.

I think people make mistakes about this, and that some mistaken ideas are hard on those emotionally battered and worn-down folk who have ideas of themselves boxed into hurtful places.

You can get it right if you think of a kid's soccer team. Everyone is important on the team, but working together as a team is more important.

Take the "star" player, for example. He can't go around hogging the ball and berating others. This causes ill-will, distractions and mistakes.

So someone who is doing wrong things because they think it will give them an advantage, making them look more important, is in error.

Someone who thinks they are no good at all is making another type of error. If they follow this belief, it will rob them of being inspired to do their best. They may not have the confidence to take risks that are really good for the team.

Someone who bangs on another person is also not helping. They may think they are doing the team a favor (let's get rid of that loser!), but the entire team will be focused on hurting a weaker person, and that will be distressing and distracting.

Both our "star" and our "loser" have come to that place because of the input and training they received. There's Joey, he's the best soccer player in the league! There's Mack, what a loser.

Now that we are all meeting on the soccer field, what should we do? Joey needs to learn that his self-important image has strayed into selfishness. He needs to be able to see other people and respond to them differently. Mack needs to do the same thing! Joey needs to be tactifully taught to tone it down and share. Mack needs a nurturing kind of communication that teaches him that he's ok and it is safe to interact and trust the team.

Did you notice that both ourselves and others have a hard time with seeing ourselves as others see us? We can't really stand to hear negative things about ourselves. It hurts.

This is the reason for tact, for politeness, for patience, and for forgiving.

Have you also noticed that the effect of information given depends on the intentions of the bearer? Are they giving us information to help or hurt?

I think self-image is ultimately important. It's vital to have the freedom to get to know your true self and to get to know how you are related to other people. Encourage each other! Help everyone to know they are important! Be a person who helps provide an environment where ill souls may mend and tired souls may rest!

We really are supposed to be worrying about our own short-comings, and minimizing the short-comings of others. Oh, Auriel, you aren't very good at this yet! Keep trying!

Good night!

Music and Friends May Save the World

Last evening was spent in the most pleasurable company of people with guitars, fiddles, mandolins, and a couple of recorders (the tootly kind) and even a clarinet. Yes, these amazingly tolerant folk tolerated and even encouraged (!!!) the presence of clarinet tootling in an old-time session.

What could they have been thinking?

I'll admit that the klezmerish tune "Beth Cohen's" was wonderful to play. You start out slow, with the unmistakeable klezmerish scale and rhythm, and ratch up the speed until it whirls like the wind. Someone shouts, feet stomp, and it's very fun.

I am not of Jewish descent, but I just love the Eastern European style of klezmer. Especially the traditional type.

I'm not interested in out-there deformations that go outside to supposedly take klezmer to another level - experiments. I value rhythm and music that revels in the beat and converses with the music.

A musical conversation makes sense and works together. You can always tell good klezmer music, even as it pushes the boundaries, by the way you feel and understand it. I love to listen to my Itzhak Perlman klezmer CD. It makes sense, it exhibits wonderful virtuousity, and it feels good to listen to.

My friends keep nudging me with the clarinet. I think it's getting to me. There is something fun about playing a spontaneous duet with someone who is singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Harmony in thirds for the part that goes:

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

And how do music and friends save the world? I think they help you dream and allow those dreams to come true:

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

So get out there (or, for you introspective types, in there) and dream and let your friends help you understand there are possibilities and YOU may achieve them!

Your friend, Auriel

Out of Iraq Now

I heard William Polk speak on NPR today. He was speaking of a strategy he worked on with George McGovern to get out of Iraq quickly. Just google "Polk McGovern Iraq" and you'll see zillions of connections.

They have written an article in Harper's magazine, see http://www.harpers.org/TheWayOutOfWar.html.

I think that people do not accept foreign occupation, that they ought to recieve the contracts to repair their own infrastructure, that the civil servants that were relieved of their duties after the invasion should be assigned to jobs again. Employed people are hopeful people. The whole Iraq invasion was wrong in the first place.

Homeward, march!