Another Way to Heal - Like, Value, Respect

Once upon a time there was a worker named Sally who became very ill but didn't know why. She finally figured it out, but it took a long, long time to heal.

While she was sicker than a dog, she tried to keep up at work. The illness made her cranky and unable to cope with people very well, so when the new boss came, trouble came too.

Every time her boss ridiculed her or assigned her to low skill tasks, she felt cranky and wasn't hiding it. But acting cranky just made things worse.

Sally knew she was in a lot of trouble and could lose her job, so she asked a trusted friend for help. Mimi was an advanced trainer and knew her stuff. After listening to Sally, she said: "Your boss doesn't like, value or respect you because you don't like, value or respect her." Sally thought that could be true, but what could she do?

Mimi's advice: Find one thing about your boss you can like, one thing you can value and one thing you can respect."

Sally maybe was headstrong, but she wasn't a fool. Nice to have a job, eh? So she put pride aside and tried out being friendly and helpful. Thinking about one thing to like, one thing to value, one thing to respect wasn't really hard at all, and it took the edge off of things Sally detested until she realized that detesting things isn't all that useful anyhow.

The key was to ignore unhelpful things and focus on winning things. Find something that is key to helping at work, and be friendly even when you don't feel like it. Things will improve.

Sally told me that this was really difficult, but after just sucking eggs and doing this for awhile, she knew this was the right path. Cranky behaviour just adds misery upon misery. And while all the problems of the past aren't absolutely healed, they have improved a lot.

Oh, and by the way, the only way to survive these negative/positive turn-arounds and keep your sanity is to do fun things for yourself. So I am going to meet Sally for lunch and we are going to try and find a copy of the Harry Potter book!

You cannot work out of crazy, dismal situations without niceties and fun to balance out the sores. So go have fun! Yes, you have to get up and out and do fun things for yourself.

Auriel is taking singing lessons from a really great jazz and all around artist. How's that!

Twelve

I often think about when I was twelve. We had moved at least twice in the preceding year. I think we moved maybe three or four times. It was the year that Mom left Dad. Dad lived with Mom's parents, and Mom moved us in with another Adult Male.

Oofda. Well, maybe there's a word for the feelings you have, because "oofda" doesn't quite cut it. Confusing, distressing, disorienting.

But, well there were Icees at the 7-11, and didn't that make everything hunky dory?

And there was band and softball. I think youngsters can get a very, very jaded view of adults when they don't make any sense. Maybe wine and writing don't get along too well together, then. If this post doesn't last too long before it gets deleted, you'll know there is a difference between the selves that are presented and the selves that try to make sense of everything when they are sloshed.

Ha!

I didn't like it when Mom drank, either.

See you in a lighter day,

Auriel

Being and Doing, or Doing and Being?

Now a funny thing ran across my ears yesterday, and I wasn't even lying down in the grass!

I heard a lady, I think she was from Britain, say "Doing is more important than being."

That was interesting because a few years ago, a priest I know said "Being is more important than doing."

Now this could be very, very confusing if you, like Candide, lived in the best of all possible worlds. There you would be, running along, minding your own happy (or unhappy!) business, when all of a sudden, someone said "Being is more important than doing."

Stopped in your tracks, even if you were dicing onions, you might well wonder how you DO that, or well, how you BE that, since we are not doing anymore, we are being.

You might sit down in a chair, very quiet, thinking great thoughts. But somehow, thinking is doing something. Ok, since a priest said it, let us pray to the Lord.

Well, darn, there I go doing something again.

Maybe we mean more something like a characteristic, like being tall. I like that. It's pretty easy for me to be overweight even without doing anything at all about it.

Slap me silly, that can't be it. Maybe I am a microcosm of the universe and an image of the unknowable God, both at the same time. I like that, too.

I could spend hours and hours just exploring what I might really be like and what I find interesting about myself. I think I'm delightful. I'm my best friend, and I enjoy my company immensely. You can do that and still care about other people and interact with them, now and then.

Now, anyone who is still reading this isn't doing anything about being, so get out there and punt! Or sit and think. Or watch the sun go down. I like that, too, especially.

Best,

Auriel